You Can't Hear Your Own Microphone

I have always been a technophile, so when the pandemic happened and we transitioned to working and living in a Zoom world, I naturally upgraded the quality of the equipment I depended on for many hours daily. After trying to get digital cameras to work, I settled on Logitech's excellent 4k Brio Webcam. As a former photographer, I knew lighting would be necessary, so I selected Elgato Key lights for pleasing, dependable illumination. I have jumped around for microphones from the AT 2020 USB to the Shure MV7 to now using a RodeCasterDuo mixer with the Shure and the Rode PodMic. Getting the quality of the visuals right was easy - what you see is what you get. Audio is a little different. I heard what I sounded like through various microphones only when I started appearing on podcasts. I’ve now learned that I can also listen to my audio feed using headphones. Still, my voice's internal sound distorts how I hear myself on air. More importantly, it got me thinking about when it is tough to listen to ourselves, especially when we think we see ourselves accurately.

Marshall Goldsmith frequently talks about leaders feeling like they have all the answers or subconsciously have to prove how smart they are. People in positions of leadership often control the microphone (physically and metaphorically) and too consistently fail to hear themselves the way others do. Sanyin Siang constantly reminds leaders that they don't need a microphone; their position amplifies their words in ways they are unaware of. When I speak on a Zoom call, I cannot tell if the sound is loud or soft - only the person on the other end of the call can give me a sound check. When a leader speaks, the occasional sound check might be a good way to test and modulate the volume.

Our tone often says more than our words. And we may intend a certain tone, but it may be received differently by those we lead. When I first heard a recording of my voice from my AT microphone it was a little bright and scratchy, making me sound anxious and rushed. When I switched to the Shure, the tone was warmer and richer. It felt like I was talking less, with more intention and confidence. Like my microphone, it is tough to hear how the receiver interprets our words. When we speak, we listen to what we intend to say, not what the listener hears. It is not only about the words; it is the cadence, the tone behind the words, the intonation and inflection, and even the emotions of the listener as they enter the conversation. Great leaders understand how to decode both sides of the dialogue, hear intently what is being said, and communicate so that others understand the message as intended.

If you cannot hear your own microphone, it is critical to have someone on the other side of the call give you honest feedback. There are many reasons to have trusted confidants, collaborators, and coaches; honest, objective feedback has to be at the top of the list. Hearing feedback clearly and without judgment is an art unto itself. Knowing how you are being listened to is the key to tuning the system to deliver the words the way you want them heard (my friend Connie Dieken is an expert at this). We know our meaning so well it is hard to imagine how others might interpret us. We think that, as leaders, we have the latitude to speak informally or casually - I am coming to the understanding that it is best to assume that is never the case. The more power and influence we have, the more we are always “on”. Some of the biggest blunders in recent memory have been when someone didn't know the microphone was on - an extreme case of not hearing your microphone!

When we become leaders, we also take on a role. We are entrusted with making decisions that influence lives, and we have the potential to create meaningful change and impact around us. With great power comes great responsibility. Knowing that we cannot hear our own microphones is a powerful reminder that we need to be sensitive in how we love and lead. This sensitivity starts with understanding our words' weight and their impact. Like fine-tuning a microphone for clarity and warmth, we must tune our communication to be clear, empathetic, and effective. Ultimately, the ability to listen—truly listen—to others and to ourselves is what distinguishes good leaders from great ones. It's not just about speaking; it's about ensuring our message resonates as we intend, creating an environment where everyone feels heard and valued.

With love, gratitude, and wonder,

Scott