Watching Icebergs

Last week, I attended a funeral with my father where he delivered a eulogy for his friend of fifty years. As photographs were shared and other eulogies given, my father leaned over and whispered how surprised he was to learn so many previously unknown aspects of his dear friend's life. This moment crystallized something profound about human connection and leadership – how even those closest to us are like icebergs, where what we see above the surface represents only a fraction of their full story. The experience made me reflect on how we interact with those in our professional orbits: the people we lead, work alongside, and report to. How much do we really know about their full stories, their struggles, their triumphs beyond the workplace? What hidden talents, passions, and experiences might lie beneath the surface, invisibly informing their perspectives and contributions? This reflection offers three vital insights: the importance of giving others the benefit of the doubt, acknowledging the vast universe of unknowns in each person's life, and approaching every interaction with a sense of wonder and curiosity.

Giving others the benefit of the doubt requires us to suspend quick judgments and remember that everyone's actions are shaped by circumstances we may not see. Just as an iceberg's visible tip reveals nothing of its massive foundation below, when a team member seems distracted, arrives late, or appears less engaged, there could be countless invisible factors at play – health challenges, family responsibilities, personal growth journeys, or life transitions that remain unspoken. As leaders, we must create space for these human realities while maintaining appropriate professional boundaries. Treating others as though they have good intentions encourages a more optimistic and trusting view. By acknowledging the complexity of human experience, we create psychological safety that enables our teams to bring their authentic selves to work, even during challenging times.

Acknowledging the universe of unknowns in each person's life means embracing humility in our assumptions about others. Just as my father discovered new dimensions of his longtime friend at the funeral, we must recognize that our colleagues and team members have rich histories, diverse experiences, and hidden talents that may never surface in our day-to-day interactions. Like the submerged portion of an iceberg, these unseen aspects often dwarf what we observe in the workplace. This awareness should inspire us to ask better questions, listen more intently, and remain open to surprising discoveries about the people we think we know well. Sometimes, the most valuable insights and innovations come from unexpected places – from the quiet engineer's passion for music or the sales manager's previous career as a teacher. These hidden dimensions of experience enrich our organizational fabric in ways we might never anticipate.

Approaching every interaction with wonder and curiosity transforms how we engage with our teams and colleagues. Instead of seeing people through the narrow lens of their job descriptions or current roles, we can choose to view them as complex individuals with fascinating stories waiting to be discovered. This perspective shift doesn't require crossing professional boundaries; it involves bringing genuine interest and openness to our everyday interactions. When we approach leadership with this sense of wonder, we often uncover unexpected synergies, hidden capabilities, and opportunities for growth that might otherwise remain hidden beneath the surface. Rather than acting like we know the answers, this curiosity-driven approach to leadership can spark innovation, foster creativity, and build stronger, more resilient teams capable of navigating complex challenges together.

In life and leadership, how we perceive and interact with others shapes the culture and success of our organizations. By giving others the benefit of the doubt, acknowledging the vastness of what we don't know, and maintaining a sense of wonder in our interactions, we create environments where those we lead, and love can bring their whole selves to work and their relationships. Like my father's experience at the funeral, we may find that there are always new depths to explore in the people around us – vast underwater landscapes of experience and wisdom waiting to be discovered, if only we remain open to seeing beyond the surface.

With love, gratitude and wonder,

Scott